Reflection

What has the world come to when our youth can't stand to hear someone speak their mind

Amidst a time when gender and sexuality can supposedly no longer be defined

Some stand on the left, some stand on the right

Conversations no longer civil, but always ending in a fight

Where are the days when differences were celebrated

Each unique gift now just makes us more separated

Living in a country with no sense of pride in their nation

Always making rash decisions leading to the destruction of their own civilization

Taking the problems of the past and trying to prove they still apply

Woe to anyone who would dare use facts to deny

Ignorance of the masses being taken advantage of by those who are greedy

The young being corrupted by these people with hidden agendas on the daily

It's so easy now to point our fingers and find someone to blame

I'm amazed that none of you are bowing your heads in shame

If you truly want change then the solution has never been clearer

Start with the person looking back at you from the mirror

Photo credit goes to discover magazine.

Every Love Story Is Beautiful, But Ours Is My Favorite

4 years ago today, you and I had a small ceremony with just our parents to witness us become one in holy matrimony. 

1 year later, with our families help, we invited our friends and family to join us as we renewed our vows.

Now, here we are, 4 years later. We have gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that we were lucky enough to find each other. 

Well, I dedicate this post to you, my husband. The man who has stood by me no matter what life has thrown at us. The man who gives me hard truths, the way only a best friend and loved one does. The man who encourages me to follow my dreams and lifts me up when I am feeling small (which is often since I am so short-yes this was an attempt at some humor). The man who can make me laugh no matter what kind of mood I'm in, and who makes me laugh often. The man who has cried with me when I have been in the kind of pain that cant be healed with medicine. The man who puts me first before himself. The man who views me as an equal, a partner in life. The man who is a wonderful and loving father to our beautiful little girl. The man who pushes me out of my comfort zone constantly, which has helped me to learn and grow as a person. 

You are the love of my life and with every day that love only grows. I will never stop thanking God for bringing us together.

Happy Anniversary to my Sun and Stars!

Love the Moon of your Life

(for those who don't know, yes that was a Game of Thrones reference)

Top 5 YouTubers

Let me start by saying, I was never really one to go on YouTube just to watch other people's videos. However, over the past few years, my husband has slowly been getting me to watch a variety of videos on YouTube. It has gotten to the point where I can now say I subscribe to numerous channels and I wanted to take a moment and share my top 5 favorite channels, and why they are my favorite.

                   

 1: Philip Defranco- For those of you who have never seen his channel before, he tends to cover a range of topics from top news stories, to movies or shows coming out, controversial topics, etc. He has a large number of followers and appears on more than just YouTube. Apart from being pretty funny, I love how honest he is about where he stands on the subjects he talks about, all while knowing that many people may not agree with him or may even hate him for it. In a world/society where many people shy away from sharing their views to avoid public backlash, he stands out in many ways. However, slight disclaimer to parents, please check out his channel yourself first before deciding if your okay with your child watching it.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClFSU9_bUb4Rc6OYfTt5SPw

 2: IMomSoHard- If you like comedy and are a mom, this is hands down the channel for you to subscribe to.  There isn't a single video they have posted that doesn't make me literally laugh out loud. Essentially the channel is of two moms who get together and talk about the many aspects of having kids and being married. To make things more interesting they always seem to be drinking some type of alcoholic beverage while they are making their videos. While this channel may seem to be geared more towards moms, I feel many dads would get a kick out of their posts as well (this feeling being based on how much my husband laughs when he watches it with me).

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4WkCbmrDECI9u4Ug-T6WBA

 3: Anonymous- Now this channel is unique to any other channel I have come across on YouTube. The videos are not made by one single person or even a small group of people. This channel consists of a bunch of ordinary, every day citizens (most, if not all being hackers). There goal is to shed light on the major issues of the world, where it is heading, to expose corrupt leaders, and to motivate average citizens to make a difference in this world. Another interesting fact about this group, is that even though they have enough followers to be able to make money off of this channel, they choose not to so they can keep their anonymity. If you are into politics, then you will want to hit the subscribe button.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA071Pllf2wk-B8Rkwt47bQ

 4: Cayleigh Elise- So for those of you who like creepy/wierd stuff, paranormal tales, myths and legends, etc., then this is a channel to look into. I am a newer subscriber to her channel, but have watched quite a few of her videos with my husband and I have to say, out of all the women who have horror channel's, she is my favorite. Most of the horror channels can tend to all start saying the same things and sounding the same in the end, but hers is unique because she really lets her personality shine through and is one of the only horror channels that can get me to laugh. 

https://www.youtube.com/user/cayleighelise/about

 5: Lazy Masquerade- The last channel on our list is another horror channel. He has everything ranging from reddit stories, to submitted stories, unsolved crimes/mysteries, etc. Unlike Cayleigh Elise, he doesn't reveal his appearance, but he does find the perfect backdrops to display for his viewers as they listen to the different stories he shares. Out of all the male horror channel's I am subscribed to, he comes out with new content the most. If you are okay with maybe not being able to fall asleep after listening to what I consider is the internet's equivalent of ghost stories around the campfire, then his channel is worth looking into.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7dHBh9QmYF1L0TOeGIzZgw

Disclaimer: All of the pictures I have included in this post originated from YouTube. 

Also, every link included in this post will take you to the channel that was mentioned above it. 

Hope you all enjoyed my list of top 5 favorite YouTube channels, and if you have some channels you would like to share, leave them in the comments below.

Love That Isn't Love

I even lost myself in fantasies of love, although of course I never really loved him. I loved the idea of him. His power, his twisted anger, his dark beauty. There was nobody quite like him. He was as tame as anything in the wild. He was everything to me, yet nothing at all. I had him even though he wasn't even close to being mine. I wanted everything from him, but I didn't expect a thing. I treasured every memory of him, but held on to nothing. I let him in while keeping him at a safe distance. Just one moment spent with him made up for every moment we weren't together. And time itself was incapable of being wasted on him; because when with him, time just didn't exist.

Laugh at the Fools

Crowds of people swarm around

Their mouths are moving without making a sound

Laugh at the fools, one and all

Since you get to watch them be their own downfall

Play a single card, but not your whole hand

Watch as the ground breaks beneath where they stand

Reality and fantasy become intertwined

Sense and insanity completely combined

A change in the wind brings you a card you once dealt

Your now on the receiving end of the sadistic satisfaction you once felt

Life tears you down and rips you out of the clouds

Now you are apart of one of their ridiculous crowds

Trying to climb back into your beautiful fantasy

Instead dragged back down into abysmal insanity

The ground beneath you begins to crack and break

The tables have turned and now it's your own life you take

Laugh at these fools one and all

Reality breaks in, and now they watch your self-inflicted downfall

My Cherished Prayer

There was no body to bury

There was no funeral to give

As soon as your heart started beating

The world denied your right to live

Your innocence was never lost

You had no time to make a mistake

If we take comfort in anything

It's that your heart wasn't given any time to break

Just know your mother loves you

She misses you in every way

If you can find it in your heart

Please forgive her for that day

She grieves for the wedding you will never have

For the life that can't take place

But most of all she wishes

That she could have just once kissed your sweet little face

I'm sorry I couldn't save you

Please try to understand

Your mother was young and naive

I thought he was a friend

We will meet one day in heaven

There you will tell me your name

Knowing that we will reunite

Helps to reduce the pain

When we meet I will kiss your cheek

And I will run my hand through your hair

For in that very moment

God will have answered my most cherished prayer

For anyone who has suffered from having a miscarriage, the link below will take you to a website that not only offers online support groups, but will also direct you to support groups in your area
http://tinyical.com/17XI

For anyone who has been sexually assaulted, the link below will take you to an online support group
http://tinyical.com/17ab

Surprise Delivery: Prologue-Secrets of The Cave

Heather watched as the waves crashed into the rocks. She had been here for hours just staring at the sky while the sun set over the ocean. Now the moon was directly above her and she knew she should be getting back. Her roommate Sam would be worried about her if she wasn't there when she woke up. But Sam was always worrying about her. Since she no longer had any family left, she could understand Sam's desire to be there for her, but she didn't need her best friend to take more of a parental role just because she was alone. Besides, she had come here for a reason, and it was time to take care of it.
Putting her bag over her shoulder, she began walking towards the hidden cave she had spent so many summer nights in with her now deceased husband. Of all the dumb and dangerous things he had done in his life, she almost had to laugh at the fact that it was someone else's dumb decision that took him away from her. She hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him she was pregnant, not that any of it mattered anymore.
As she came around the jagged set of rocks marking the caves location, she saw a couple having sex not too far down the shore line. For a moment she was entranced as she watched him thrust into her while the girl moaned in pleasure. How many times had her and James come to this very part of the beach and done the exact same thing?  She couldn't name how many even if she tried. They used to joke about how they screwed more in the sand than in their own bed, but it had been fun and exciting to be so out in the open, yet hidden at the same time. It was one of the things she loved most about him. He didn't care what others thought, if he wanted to do something, no one was going to tell him otherwise. He had a spontaneous, adventurous soul and she wouldn't have had it any other way.
Coming back to the moment, Heather realized she needed to move if she didn't want to be seen. She moved as quiet as a mouse, being extra careful not to be seen until she reached the mouth of the cave. Once inside, she set her bag down and took out a small shovel and flashlight. Looking around the cave with the light, she picked a spot and began digging until satisfied it was deep enough for what she needed. Reaching into her bag again, she pulled out a small urn containing what her and James had created during one of those summer nights that seemed so long ago. Putting the urn into the grave she had just dug, she shoveled the sand back into the hole. She didn't stop until it looked like there wasn't anything buried in the sand. It was better this way; to just bury it and not mark the grave site. Better to just bury this place and move on to the half-life waiting for her.
By the time she left the cave, the couple was gone. The only thing left of their bodies intertwined on the sand was her memory of them. The shore would forget them, but it would now never forget her, James, and their stillborn baby she couldn't even bring herself to name. As she reached the part of the beach she had watched the sun set on, Heather fell to the ground and cried. She cried for the first time since James had been hit by that drunk driver and didn't stop crying until Sam found her after the sun came up.